Wards of the State....Sorta.

It has not been all that long ago, that I was basically living the life of a hermit in my wagons, on the edge of camp. Back then, I told myself I was content, and I think I was. I had built this shell around me, this persona meant to keep people at a distance. I hunted, took care of my needs, shared the bounty of my hunts with others, secretly. An occasional warrior would come to me for a scar he had earned. Usually one that I had the honor of scarring before. A repeat customer.


Occasionally I would venture to the wagons of my family for a visit, to try and keep the connection. I still think family connections are important, even though I had basically lapsed in mine. And these visits were where I learned the gossip of camp. People will tell you that women are the worst gossips. I will disagree with them. My brothers are no slouches. They kept me caught up on things that were going on in camp.


Those days are long gone. Ba'atar came to me, needing someone he trusted at the fires with him, now that he was Ubar. You do not deny your brother, that is all that there is to it. I came, but I still tried to keep myself separate, at that time, not wanting to be involved any further than what was needed by my brother, my Ubar.


All of that has changed. I am now Ubar, not by choice, or by challenge, but by request of my brother. I am doing my best to do what is right for my people, and I will admit, it is not an easy task, but I am muddling through.


One of the responsibilities that I have is for women. I am the guardian to women, imagine that. What were not all that long ago, my least favorite people, are now my wards. The Sky definitely has a sense of humor.


I imagine right now, Seveya is not real happy with me, and eventually I will have to deal with that. Besides Seveya, there is Asria. Asria, the year keeper that is not a year keeper.


I inherited Asria from Fonce. What happened between them, I don't know, and I haven't asked. All I know is that the woman is under my care. Not only her, but two small children. Recently, she approached me and told me that she wanted to change clans. This is not something that happens often, but I got the impression that she never really chose her first clan, and that made it a little different.


She wants to be a singer. Believe it or not, she has come to the right person. One of the best Singers that I know just happens to be my father, Aamon. He is not only an excellent singer, he is a patient teacher. I know that first hand, because he was very patient with me, right up until the point I finally put us both out of our misery, dug in my heels and said I was NOT, going to be a Singer.


He will be good for Asria. I am thinking that she needs someone to work with her, that did not know her late man, Trayu. That has no pre-conceived ideas about who she is and who she should be. My father, will treat Asria, as Asria, fledgling singer. It will be interesting to see how this progresses.


My main ward is Cana, the mate of my brother. For the most part, she is no problems. She knows who she is, she is self-reliant, a woman with direction. Not a complainer, and asks for very little. Even her children are no more problems than most children are. They are spirited, but also disciplined, and well behaved, considering their ages. And the girls, are special to me. Even as young as they are, I find them beautiful, and can see in the future, how they will grow even more so. And I don't give a damn what they say, these girls will be no problem.


Recently, I do have a problem with Cana. Not one that she has really brought on by actions, or deed. She doesn't talk to me much, and I get a lot of what I know from others. Ergo, Mezoo. I know that Cana is having trouble sleeping. I can understand this. She is a woman whose man has been gone for over a year now, without a word. What woman would not be having trouble sleeping, under those circumstances?


But, from what I am being told, she is having nightmares. I don't dream, so I don't know anything about this. All I know is that she is losing weight, and when she smiles, it does not extend to her eyes. It is almost as if she thinks it is her duty to smile. Her clan work has not suffered, she still manages to take care of her children, but there is just something off about her. I have a great deal of respect for her, and because of that, I am worried.


And besides, if anything happens to her, Ba'atar will kill me when he returns. But there is definitely something amiss, something terribly wrong.